Life

Summer.

These wonderful warm days beckon our full attention, promising to fill our lives with all that is absent during the winter months. Walks, swims, picnics, camping, gardening or bicycle riding, Summer is the season to do it all. With longer days packed with activity and lazily drifting into balmy nights, one can always seem to find a harmony in merely existing. Feeling good in just about everything we do, summer invites joy and fun …and the permission we sometimes need to behave like a kid again.

With my own permitted invitation to do just that, I once again regress into my annual childhood state… wanting to do it all, shed responsibility, and never say enough.

I grew up in Queens, NY, where summer was a ‘neighborhood’ in itself. Living on a ‘block’ boasting about 50 homes, 25 on each side of the street, neighbors became familiar with each other as they ventured out of their winter caves and socialized easily on each other’s front ’stoop’. Rediscovery embraced, they shared a cool drink, a good joke or the latest gossip.

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Waking up earlier than usual this morning and feeling more like myself… I decided to enjoy my morning coffee outside.

Basking in the quiet peacefulness only mornings can provide, I welcome a new day as I become reacquainted with my own backyard. Admiring the rapid growth of my winter-dormant perennial flowers, I smile in delight as I visualize their future splendor. The air is fragrant with the sweet scent of honeysuckle and my little ‘winged’ friends are busy at my feeders.

A glance over at the bluebird houses catches a returning Tree Swallow swooping down for entry…as the other holds occupancy of a House Wren and family. With thoughts of adding a third to this backyard-birding-neighborhood in the hopes of attracting its meant-for occupant, my thoughts are interrupted with a distinct humming sound to my left.

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Numb.

My mind is blank like a new sheet of a drawing tablet waiting for it’s first stroke of lead. Succumbing to a feeling of loss I am, and have been, unable to focus on anything.

Life has again delivered its wake-up call ..reminding once more that we are all on borrowed time and no life lasts forever.

With heavy heart, I respectfully acknowledge this fact with the passing of my Uncle yesterday. Taken from us abruptly and unexpectedly, my family is left grieving and sad …coping with the loss of another one of its’ members.

Succumbing to his journey’s end, my uncle slipped away slowly… mind before body. He had ‘drifted’ into a realm unknown… travelling down the final path leading from this world ..into the next.

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Life.

…A wonderful gift we were all given though we never asked for it ourselves…

How many times have you heard it…’Enjoy your life and live it fully…you only go around once.’

I’ve said this myself many times.

Believing that life is meant to be lived to its full capacity, I think never a moment should be wasted. Days and nights ought to be filled with activities enjoyed and people whose company is appreciated. Regularly partaking of these pleasures is something that should hold a priority and significance for all of us.

For some, however, the interpretation of living life ‘fully’ can be lost or misconstrued. With the desire to have and do it all, the focus is fixated on living it ‘up’ rather than living ‘well’.

Translated by throwing caution to the wind, eating and drinking is indulged without concern while exercise is viewed as hobby instead of necessity… a pastime..’fit in’, if at all, whenever convenient. Less desirable habits are adapted acknowledged with empty vows to ‘quit’ them forthcoming.

Although we subconsciously know better than our actions indicate, we are convinced that anything less of this way of living ….is living life deprived.

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Most of us try hard to make ourselves readily available to anyone requiring assistance.

Never hesitating to lend a hand, whether it be to offer a ride, run an errand, care for a pet, or babysit a child, we all like to help… making life easier for those at a particular ‘time of need’.

Offering our services, we seldom give it a second thought. Perhaps not realizing fully what we may have gotten into, we can sometimes extend ourselves beyond our limits… burning the candle at both ends. Although intentions are good, we end up in over our heads…biting off more than we can chew.

With the growing awareness that a steady promise of dependability can be wearying. …we continually repeat the behavior.

Giving careful consideration to our ‘division’ of self, we contemplate the simultaneous execution of these good-natured offers with the on-going demands of life. Inundated upon reviewing our temporarily altered schedule, we fear something will be left untended. We persevere, nonetheless, attempting to successfully fulfill our commitments.

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For the last day or two, there’s been a feeling of melancholia which had washed over me. I tried everything I could think of to shake it, but not even a decadent piece of chocolate, or a relished glass of wine, or a telephone call to ‘mom’ could lift this dark cloud. Though this feeling does not descend on me often, …thankfully… I still hate succumbing to its presence.

Reflecting as to why I felt this way, I’ve come to realize that this seems to be a recurrence every spring. Realizing that with the promise of a new summer season at hand, one which I thoroughly enjoy and take full advantage of , there also comes with it an additional work load to be undertaken ahead of time. Overwhelmed when reviewing the ‘jobs’ which lay before me, I am frozen in action..unable to muster any ambition to tackle these daunting chores.

Because of an early snowfall, the leaves were never raked and are still on the ground.. since October. Despising this job (in either season) more than any other, I swear silently under my breath as I vow, again, to remove the tree. If the Maple in the front yard isn’t bad enough, there is yet another out back, even bigger than the first. ‘Brainstorm’ that I am, I decided one year to put in a garden pond. Where you ask? Why under this tree, of course! (…Yes, you’re right…you guessed exactly where my head was..)

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Would we listen to what they had to say??

Being a Pencil Artist, my inspiration to draw comes directly from the Wildlife of the World. I find every creature to be beautiful and inspiring to me in their own unique way.

When I choose an animal as my subject, there is a connection that slowly develops …an intimate bonding and understanding of each creature as my mind works my pencils to desperately try to capture its essence. As I educate myself to the behaviors and characteristics of this animal, I develop an affinity with it. I come to understand it’s nature and identify with it’s characteristics, values, and the instinctive laws it adheres to for it’s well being and survival.

I have found that much in the Animal World is similar to ours…lending lessons and advice to life as we know it.

So journey with me now, into a world that I love, …a world coexisting with our own… similar yet different. It teaches and enlightens without intention. It is harsh and brutal yet balanced and serene …sound without interference…

..Welcome to the World of Wildlife…

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Home from “Work”… But are we?

…Another weekend’s threshold.

Friday night marks the beginning of the much anticipated weekend. Time to spend the next two days doing things we want to do. We fill them with fun and entertainment, perhaps an excursion or a visit…or maybe dinner and a movie out. It’s our time to relax and chill… ‘resting up’ before another work week begins…

…Or do we?

I think for most of us, weekends are spent remaining busy…doing chores or running errands. …The laundry’s backed up, the furniture is dusty, the cupboards are empty and the house is a mess. Always too tired during the week to tend to these matters, we reserve the long awaited ‘Saturday and Sunday’ to accomplish these tasks.

Understanding the mentality and perceived necessity of this thinking, for most people, life on this merry-go-round is ritualistically similar.

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Desiring to stay young forever, we are, unfortunately, unable to halt the ticking of time. For every year witnessed, we bear evidence of it passing. Time’s footprint, recognized despairingly by a new wrinkle on a face, indicates to all the ‘many-a-day’ seen.

Unsolicited weight gain can add insult to injury. Requiring no extra indulgences to even warrant its existence, it responds ever so slowly at our attempts of removal.

We continue forging forward despite these perpetually recurring ‘gifts’, …our quest for remaining youthful unwavering. We craftily attempt to cheat time, or at the least slow it down, …all the while solicitously monitoring our appearance.

Equipped with the knowledge available today, we are armed with the necessary arsenal needed to combat this unforgiving process…

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Accompanying my Uncle today on another visit to the Veteran’s Hospital for his regular doctor appointments, I am again reminded of the bravery of the men and women who have and continue to, answer a Call of Duty. As a Veteran of World War II, he, my Dad, and many others, have served their country fearlessly and courageously.

A visit to this type of hospital is an experience unlike any other. American flags, reverently displayed with honor, gracefully adorn the lobby. With tributes to the brave acknowledged everywhere, one cannot help to feel pride and awe for these soldiers, merely by entering the building. Walking the corridors which seem to be ever full of people, I am aware that for every face I see,…there are countless others who have never made it home.

These men and women, who have fought in wars stemming from intolerance, hatred, and terror, …exposed perhaps to indespicable acts of inhumanity, …continue to embrace life respectfully. As brief encounters with these honorable people are met with courtesy and kindness, one can’t help but find inspiration and admiration in their character.

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“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”
- Sent by Donna Roberts

Friendship.

Indulged in by everyone, and being cultivated since childhood, friendships are a centrical part of life. Acknowledging the importance of friendships from a very young age, the desire to surround ourselves with people of ‘like’ interests, lives, or personality is a natural instinct that for most, does not need to be learned.

Varying in bonds of ’strength’ and longevity, friendships could be found in differing stages and degrees. There are some that seem to have been around forever, remaining strong throughout the years. These bonds seem never to wear or waver….withstanding the test of time.

A younger friendship, although not quite as established, is delicate yet sound, yielding the same love and understanding…holding promise to grow further still with the passing of days.

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For every Thing, …there is a Season.

It will always be difficult.

After 8 years of assisting in a Veterinary Hospital, I still choke back tears at the euthanizing of a family pet. Usually a life-long companion to the fortunate, it is so hard to say good-bye.

A painless procedure for the animal as they quietly succumb to life’s end, it is, by far, the most painful decision a pet owner must make. Somewhat comforted by the fact that a good life was provided, or perhaps not wishing any needless suffering be endured, ..it still remains unbearable. …Left in its aftermath is a whirlwind of emotional turmoil…and a love, …void of recipient.

I am sympathetic to the loss of any animal companion and am aware that immediately the human lives will be altered. Realized in even the most subtlest of ways… the familiar, ritualistic habits become no longer necessary. Tonight there will be no food dishes to fill or any last late night ‘walk’ to be taken ..or in the absence of a lulling ‘purr’, there is at least a fortnight of guaranteed sleeplessness.

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Lazily drifting like fluttering feathers…finally resting in silence…

…With every flake the earth is blanketed in a pristine veil of white.

Another February Snowfall.

Absorbing the beauty of this snow-transformed state, …I marvel at the fact that every snowflake is different. Beautiful to behold and magically captivating, a fresh snow, in all its splendor, seems to silence the world.

Alas, however pure this unanticipated, but seasonably-appropriate whether is, I remain unwavering in my desire for Spring. Encouraged by a recently noticed flock of Robins, I convinced myself it was almost here. I even dared to keep a watchful eye on the Forsythia,…its wiry branches always first to claim recognition of arrival.

Dismally realizing my hopes are delusional, …I must impatiently wait, …without alternative, …for this new blanket to melt.

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Today somebody asked me how my Valentine’s Day was.

I didn’t do anything special, and I don’t really think the day ought to be made into such a big deal. Only one day a year we’re obliged to let the special people in our lives know we love them? ….What about the other 364 days?

I also consider the exuberant amount of money spent on over-priced roses and candy. ….Flowers and “Sweet for the Sweet”…hmmmmm. …’Thanks for this decadent double-layer box of Russell Stover’s Best, honey…be right back while I go try to squeeze into that new little nightie I just got’. …yikes!

What a great idea…Who thought of this holiday ‘tradition’ anyway?

But all ridiculing aside, I can appreciate the thought of ‘honoring’ that special someone. I suppose V-Day serves as a reminder to oneself just how much your ’significant other’ is loved and appreciated. (…to you, pd)

With each Valentine’s Day that rolls around every February 14th, I seem to find myself not only acknowledging this significant other, but also reflecting on the journey my ‘love life’ has taken. For reasons unbeknown st to me, I recollect memories from my youth……recalling, with clarifying detail, …my ‘first’ love.

I was a teenager when I fell in love for the first time and I remember it like it was yesterday..Every feature of his face, …the feelings of ‘fluttering butterflies’ in my stomach at the mere sight of him, ….missing him incredibly when I had to go home each night.

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“What if…”

…I think we’ve all muttered these words at one time or another.

…What if I went to college…What if I dated Henry instead of Pete…What if I had landed that job….The questions go on and on.

I write this after watching a movie with my daughter called “Sliding Doors” with Gwyneth Paltrow. It’s one of those movies I’m able to watch numerous times and not tire of.

The story is about a woman ,who on one hand, after just getting fired from her job, takes the train home early to find her live-in boyfriend in bed with another woman.

On the other hand, she misses the train, has to find an alternate way home, and subsequently arrives home later, ‘missing’ her boyfriends afternoon ’shag’. The story’s plot(s) are told simultaneously, unfolding the “what if’s” of each scenario ..What if she caught the train..What if she didn’t. How her life’s path can change from a single, insignificant circumstance.

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..Reflections on Life.

(Yesterday Was Fun….Today Was Awesome….But Tomorrow’s Gonna’ Rock!)

OK.
I’m sitting here at this computer about to type my first blog entry, but my fingers remain hovering above the keyboard. Where do I start? What could I possibly write about that would interest anybody else? But being as uninformed in the World of Internet Socialization as I am, blogging, evidently, is where it’s at,… or so I’m told.

So here goes…

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